Here we fucking go again.

It's hit or miss, up or down, silence or screaming.
I hate you.
I hate the way you laugh.
I hate seeing you smile.
I hate seeing you around my town.
I hate hearing your voice on that fucking stage.
I hate the way you still leave me high and dry.
I hate the way I still trip over every pretty thing you say.
I hate you.
I hate the way I still love you after wasting so much time in my life.
I hate the way you fucked me over.
I hate the fact that I still want you more than anyone.
I hate your t-shirts.
I hate your excuses.
I hate how beautiful you are to me.
I hate the way you make me feel.
I hate the way you ignore me.
I hate the how the next day I get the best texts from you.
And I hate how 2 hours later, I stop hearing from you for the next month.
I hate the way you consume my thoughts.
I hate the way you cheated on me.
I hate the way you've ruined Brand New, American Football, and "Emily," for me.
And ultimately, I hate you.
I hate that I can't get over you.

What did you learn tonight?
You're shouting so loud.
You're a voice that never sings.

Today, I reached into the shitter and saw the inmost part of me.
My reflection has looked better, but never clean.

Stop telling me that I didn't care about "us."
Remeber when you told me that I was different? I am. Therefore you shouldnt expect me to be clingy, to be an annoyance, to be a machine. I'm independent. Get that through your shallow fucking brain. Just because I was busy, or doing something with my time doesn't validate that I was careless.
You obviously didnt know me.
Oh, now you're mad? Aww, I was never supposed to see this side of you.
Guess what? You don't even know what mad is until you've lived inside a body that is constantly filled with rage.

I know what it's like to not get what you want. Everybody does. Get used to it.




I felt bad for awhile, but now I'll go ahead and smile...

Watch me

Step back, take a look at my life.

I've seen the free that you enslave,
The walking that you keep chained,
I've seen the growth that you keep caged...
The machinist. I am not. I am not. I am not a machine.
I am human being.

Hold

I once sat up on my roof and examined the planning of my town.

I saw the structured grid and pavement cutting through grass
and I remembered the cold of winter running up the legs of my pants.

I picked the nicest lawn and imagined the two of us
rolling around down along the ground.

I saw myself touch your face and I noticed jets begin to race above our heads.
But I pinched my arm and remembered how much you hate me.

I remembered the fact that I can't see what you need
and I'm too stupid to be aware of the beauty that you give this place
and how shitty this town would seem without you in it.

When you aren't around I let the shades fall down to shut out
all the sun's light and make myself feel all right.

What am I doing with my life?

Remember that the only things we need sometimes
are chilly nights and warmer thighs, 'cause there's nothing like being held.

Were your eyes too tired?

Just let me run where I want to run
Just let me love who I want.
Just let me run where I want to run
Just let me love who I want.
Just let me run where I want to run.
Just let me love who I want.
Just let me run where I want to run.
Just let me love who I want.
Just let me run where I want to run.
Just let me love who I want.

There are no rules for this love.
Just keep your head and don't give up.
Like all the fools who play it smart.
Lose your head just for your heart
Just for your heart...