Never Meant

I never meant to fall in love with you.
Yet another 2 years have gone by, and we've both had relationships since. But I still love you.
I sit here yet another night in a row, and miss you long for you, want you. I wish I couldn't think of you at all. Forget your name, your phone number I've deleted numerous times. It just won't quit. It's hard to be here to listen to your break-ups, your problems, and be the one giving you advice. I want to be your girl. Your only girl.

It actually makes me feel better seeing you. Seeing those eyes that had me at hello. Literally, in front of my mailbox. You have the prettiest eyes. Too bad you bailed on me. Surprise. I just can't forget that night in my car with Polar Bear Club in the background.

I can't pinpoint the reasoning behind why I want to be there for you so badly. Even it's to vent. Or to hangout with you, hug you, look you in the eye. I shouldn't respect you, but I can't help it.
I love you. Still. Even after everything that happened that broke my heart into a thousand tiny pieces when I was just 16, and then again when I was almost 18. Maybe the third time will be the charm. I'll continue to have my hopes up.

Why can't I put an end to it? Close this book I've been writing in my head for too long...





You can't miss what you forget.

Another Ruined Night

I never want another boyfriend. You're all so fucking clueless.


I can't wait to be alone--with a cat and an STI.
BALLIN

It's Been Awhile

You know what I'm sick of? Men who are incredibly needy. I shouldn't even call them men, really. It's a stretch.
I'm tired of getting into dead end relationships that end in three months. You make yourself out to seem so idyllic in the first place, but in all reality, you're needy little bitches who rely on other people more than someone like I could tolerate. Grow a pair, and some independence.

I think it's time to take a second, and self evaluate. I'm ready to take the time to work on who I am, and get back to the things I love, and lost touch with...

1. Hardcore
2. Vinyls
3. Collages


And I still want to learn piano.



Here's to a new me, and to being single, lonely, and still loving PBR.
Cheers.