Who's Keeping Score?

Flowers dont know me like trees know wind
and winds blow a breeze one way to snow
the flowers around
they're all around

I climbed a mountain that night
I peaked at sight of morning light
word spread so fast in a town like this

snow only leads to a freeze
likely to be one this week
now flowers fade
well they dont know me anyway

If I'm home, I'll be alone
If I'm home, I'll be alone
I can't explain why you want me to stay, but I think I really need to go
If I'm home, I'll be alone

and I'm not messin around.

I don't care about what you write, what you say. I don't give a fuck anymore. I've heard it all so many times.
I want to feel it.

9:49 on a Thursday

Grown Ups, Snowing, and Algernon Cadawallader-
Getting me through the past few days, although as slowly as possible, I know I have something to look forward to.

I have so much to say, but can't put words together.

I miss you. I miss the purity. I miss the cold nights. I can't think about it, or say it enough. The only place I can get it out is here.
I miss my best friend. I wish I could talk to her every waking second like we used to.

Things are looking up. Things are looking the worst.
why why why why why why why why why why
Maybe I'm better off being alone forever.
Maybe I don't believe you.
Maybe this, maybe that.
See, I told you I can't put words together. "Miss and maybe," my two favorite words.
Commitment always seems to be a letdown.

I want to get out of here. I don't care if I have to walk.

Motivational Song

I want more than anything to learn piano.
Maybe it will be a tangible pleasure that won't ever let me down.
Won't ever tell me I'm not caring enough.
Won't ever make me out to be some one I'm not.

Maybe it will be a place I can cling to.
Maybe it will make me feel alive again.

Zero

So when did cigarettes start cluttering your hands?

I ponder this some nights alone when I undress. And what do you do with those girls I see you with, or better yet, what would I do if you came back? I
'd say no, or I hope I could, but I still want you.
And what do you think I would do after you left? Would I stay sober?
I think it'd be much worse. I'd cut my arms off.
No regeneration.
Was it the cure?
Hope not.

Kiss the Bottle

Cigarettes they fill the gaps.
In our empty days.
In our broken teeth.
We're jonesing.
Say mister, can you spare a dime?
Some change could make a change.
Could buy some time.
Some freedom.
Or an ear to hear my story.
It's all I've got.
My fiction beats the hell out of my truth.
A palm upturned burnt blue.
Don't call it sunburn.

A week inside, I think I'm starting to show.
I told myself to keep myself in line.
Should we get married or just go on killing each other?
I don't think I hate you enough to commit you to me.

Happy all the time. It's all we ever do.
Steady in decline. It's all we ever do.
I'm sorry but it's true.

How can I save you when I couldn't save a dime.
I want to call you and tell you that I'm a fan.
All my friends know better but I can't quite hear them.
Still for the life of me I can't imagine our home.

Good things, that's all I want.
All I want for you.
Hold me. Set me free.
It's all I want from you.
It's sad and it's so true.

We're so close it scares me
We're tight we're enemies
We're so wrong its deathly
Just hold me
Hold me
Just hold me

Watch this pot and it is sure to boil.
Sometimes I catch myself thinking,
"Boy, or girl?"

Kiss me on the teeth. It's all that we can do.
Punch me. Wake me up.
This lullaby is blue.
Lie and say we're through.

We're so close it scares me
We're tight we're enemies
We're so wrong its deathly
We're so far
Just hold me
Hold me
Just hold me

If I knew how to play piano, that's exactly what I'd be doing right now.
I want to feel high, and with the sound of a piano, and not a care in the world, I think I could feel it.

It's not so easy.